Whilst many of us readers would love to have the lifestyle of a Premier League footballer – the adrenaline rush of playing in front of thousands of adoring fans, the tens of thousands going into their account every Friday, driving into three hours of training in an Aston Martin – life always has a way of teaching us that you can’t always have it all in this world.
What the following Premier League footballers have in ability, they lack in hair follicles. They may be superstars for their teams, but they can’t boast to waxing their before going to work in the morning.
So here is the list of the ultimate Premier League bald-headed XI, past and present, who have an abundance of skills, and an abundance of wigs.
Click on Jaap Stam to unveil the greatest ‘Bald XI’
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Arsenal midfielder Emmanuel Frimpong has joined Championship club Charlton Athletic on loan until January.
The Ghanaian midfielder has recently returned to full fitness after recovering from a cruciate knee ligament injury that he picked up last season while on loan at Wolverhampton Wanderers.
The 20-year-old has been restricted to just the two first team appearances for the Gunners this season, both coming in Capital One Cup victories against Coventry and Reading.
“We’re really happy that he’s coming in to join our squad, and we welcome him to the club,” Charlton manager Chris Powell told the club’s official website.
“We’ve had our eye on him for a while, and with the busy Christmas period to come, I felt it was right to make sure that we are covered in all areas. We hope that he does very well for us in the red or black of Charlton.”
Frimpong joins a side who are on the back of a three match winning streak and the signing is somewhat of a coup for Charlton who have struggled in the transfer market this season when pursuing ‘big name’ targets.
The midfielder was rumoured to be heading back to Wolves where he spent time last season but will now stay in the capital in his quest for first team football.
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Arsenal and Charlton fans alike won’t forget the last time a player headed to the Valley from the Gunners, as former Addicks loanee Alex Song returned from his time in South London to became an integral part of Arsene Wenger’s midfield before leaving for Barcelona in the summer.
Andre Villas-Boas celebrated the performance of his team’s attacking players, following Tottenham’s 3-1 Europa League victory over Panathinaikos.
Spurs lost their 1-0 lead in the 54th minute, but were able to come back to take all three points with two goals in the final quarter-of-an-hour.
The Portuguese coach was happy with the resilience his team showed once the scores were levelled:
“The problem was 1-0 wasn’t enough. They had the determination and motivation to get a result. But we played really well and had opportunities.” He is quoted by BBC Sport.
“We felt a little bit of anxiety but managed to get the result which was fair.
“We’ve been scoring a lot of goals and I think the team is the second-best attacking team in the Premier League. We create chances and we took our chances.”
The three points were not enough to take top spot in Group J, with Italian outfit Lazio securing the position.
Tottenham’s runners up finish may see them face one of the teams eliminated from the Champions League.
Villas-Boas believes that clubs dropping out of the top European competition should not be allowed into the Europa League:
“(It is) Extremely unfair,
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“You can’t give a bonus to teams who’ve failed. I’ve raised it in UEFA meetings but it is for them to decide.”
Emmanuel Adebayor gave the Londoners the lead after 29 minutes, but Panathinaikos levelled the score through Zeca just before the hour mark.
An own goal from Orestis Karnezis and a Jermain Defoe effort secure the win for Tottenham.
Southampton winger Steve De Ridder has revealed his disappointment at being left out of manager Nigel Adkins’ squad for their Boxing Day clash with Fulham.
Having made his Premier League debut against Sunderland just a few days before the 1-1 draw at Craven Cottage, the Belgian was believed to be in line for at least a spot on the bench.
The 25-year-old, who signed from De Graafschap in Holland in 2011, believes that he did enough to deserve a place in the squad and claims that he was “disappointed” to be overlooked:
“I was extremely pleased that I could make my debut, but I wasn’t unhappy with my performance so I was very disappointed I was not there on Wednesday against Fulham. I have received good feedback as well, which is strange.” He told Belgian magazine Sporza.
“I believe that I am still on a good path and I have proven that I can deliver something others don’t have.
“I was surprised with my non-selection and will ask for an explanation from the coach.”
It is believed that a number of clubs from Holland, Belgium and the Championship are interested in De Ridder, who hinted that he would be willing to move on unless he is given first-team football:
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“Of course I am thinking about my future. I am really aware that at a certain point I really have to start playing.
“There is interest from The Netherlands, Belgium and top sides from the Championship in England.”
Tom Ince looks certain to leave Blackpool in January but manager Michael Appleton remained silent on whether they had received any bids for their star winger, the Daily Mail report.
Appleton confirmed that the Seasiders are in talks with several clubs regarding the sale of the England under-21 international, rated at £7 million, with Liverpool and Manchester United heavily linked.
Reds boss Brendan Rodgers wants Ince, who left Anfield for just £250,000 18 months ago, to form part of a new strike force with Chelsea attacker Daniel Sturridge, who is also on his New Year shopping list.
Rodgers is prepared to pay £6 million to prise him away from Bloomfield Road but will face stiff competition for his signature from Premier League leaders United, who are also monitoring his progress.
The 20-year-old has been in scintillating form this season bagging 13 goals for Blackpool as they battle for a spot in the Championship play-off places and a return to the top-flight just two seasons after relegation
At least one other unnamed club are hoping to sign Ince but Appleton, who replaced Ian Holloway in the dugout at the start of last month, insists that talks with the interested parties have yet to reach an advanced stage.
“There have been no bids as far as I’m aware,” Appleton told Sky Sports.
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“I think there have been conversations with a couple of clubs and the chairman, but nothing concrete.
“No-one has come in yet and set the marker in terms of price.”
The infuriating proficiency of Robin van Persie may have denied Joe Cole a fairytale start to his second coming, but early indications suggest this could prove an inspired reconciliation. The 31-year-old huffed and puffed his way through a debut that lasted 78 minutes and delivered two beautifully crafted deliveries that allowed James Collins to atone for his error in the recent defeat at Reading.
The former England midfielder will need to inject each performance with the same desire and tenacity if his return is to be dubbed a success, but he can certainly provide the creative spark needed to move Big Sam’s well-oiled machine up a gear. Cole lapped up his warm welcome and played with a smile that we haven’t seen since his time at Stamford Bridge. With this in mind, should more players seek out a sentimental return in order to resurrect their career?
West Ham have undoubtedly provided the foundation for a number of players to build promising careers. Two of which, Frank Lampard and Rio Ferdinand, look increasingly likely to end their spell at the summit of the Premier League sooner rather than later. Is it ludicrous to suggest that they too could retrace their steps to the Academy of Football? Neither player will be short of offers, but the Hammers may find themselves in the best position to offer both financial security and regular minutes on the pitch.
If we turn our attention back to the current playing squad, will Andy Carroll find himself fantasying about a return to Tyneside, now Chelsea have finally activated Demba Ba’s release clause? The 24-year-old has showcased glimpses of his capability to terrorise defenders but injuries have prevented him from rediscovering the form he displayed as the Magpies’ boisterous number 9.
Elsewhere in the league, there are a number of Championship graduates who have fallen foul of making the step up far too soon. Connor Wickham has made just 25 appearances – 18 of which have come from the bench – since his high profile move to Sunderland two years ago. Surely a six-month stint back in Ipswich would help revive his depleted confidence levels and help ensure the Tractor Boys steer clear of a relegation battle.
Likewise, Aaron Ramsey may have just secured a long-term contract at Arsenal, but his performances this season portray a player struggling to fulfil his potential. The former Welsh captain has perhaps become the victim of his own impressive versatility, with Wenger ushering him out on the wing to accommodate the return of Jack Wilshere. Considering Cardiff are flying high at the moment, a stint in Wales should offer the perfect environment to alleviate the pressure from his young shoulders.
It’s not just the British who can feel homesick. Perhaps the cure for the ailments hampering Fernando Torres isn’t the wise words of Rafael Benitez but a return to Atletico Madrid. Despite Roman Abramovich’s obvious affection towards his blonde bombshell, even he must be considering using the Spaniard as a means of extracting Falcao from the clutches of Diego Simeone. Torres may not want to admit it, but his newfound lack of pace would perhaps go unnoticed within the subdued nature of La Liga.
The history books are littered with stories of successful homecomings. After Ian Rush was lured to Serie A by the Old Lady, he quickly realised that life in Italy was “like living in a foreign country.” Liverpool swiftly answered his confused cry for help and re-signed the moustached magician a year later, where he would spend another eight successful years at Anfield.
Mark Hughes spent two years away from Manchester United in the mid-eighties in what must have felt like a disappointing backpacking holiday. After an unsuccessful spell under Terry Venables at Barcelona, Hughes was sent on loan to Bayern Munich before returning to Ferguson’s warm embrace, where he would enjoy seven more years of unrivalled success.
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I don’t begrudge players that move for money or a shot at the big time, who among would turn down the opportunity of a lifetime? However, it’s becoming increasingly apparent that even the best players are struggling to cope with their inflated price tags and the level of expectation that engulfs the modern game.
More and more players are beginning to understand that you can’t put a price on the reality of actually enjoying your football. It may not be pretty and the chances of silverware may turn to dust but sometimes a passionate chant from ‘your own’ supporters is all that is needed to perform at your best. I would argue that even in the world of sport, there’s no place like home.
Arsenal’s recent defeat in the north London derby to local rivals Tottenham has widely been hailed as the moment there was a change in the balance of power between the two clubs for the first time in nearly two decades, but are Arsene Wenger’s side suffering from a lack of belief more than anything else?
The biggest single factor to back up that point is the club’s record against the top four this season, otherwise known as their nearest rivals, which reads played seven, won one, drawn one and lost five. When you factor in that against better quality opposition in the Champions League this term, in games against Bayern Munich and Schalke, where they have drawn one and lost two, and it’s clear to see why they are finding it so difficult to bridge the gap between them and the level where they need to reach. They simply seem as if they are going into games of importance now resigned to their fate.
Far too many key players are not enjoying their finest seasons at the club, with Wojciech Szczesny doing little to dispel the notion that he’s the Emperor’s New Clothes and has only benefited from being compared to Manuel Almunia, while captain Thomas Vermaelen, centre-back Lauren Koscielny and the likes of Bacary Sagna and Aaron Ramsey have all fallen well below what’s expected of them on a consistent basis.
Against both Bayern and Tottenham, the side dominated possession, but seemed to lack that crucial belief to really take the game to the opposition when the scores were level and they only started playing against Chelsea in their defeat at Stamford Bridge after the break when the score was already at 2-0, therefore leaving themselves too much to do.
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A truly telling statistic is that of the club’s 14 games they have played since the turn of the year in 2013, they’ve gone behind in nine of them, five of those by two goals. In the five games where they have taken the lead first, they have gone on to win. Confidence is so fragile that it seems to often hinder on the first goal, which is not the hallmark of a side capable of challenging for a top four spot, let alone honours.
Looking around the squad, it looks woefully short on leaders, with only really the young Jack Wilshere standing up to be counted in any sort of way this campaign. Mikel Arteta is a quietly assured figure that leads by example, while Per Mertesacker commands respect for his international achievements with Germany, just like Lukas Podolski, but neither appear to have the authority of the dressing room.
Appointing Vermaelen as captain has proved to be a fatal error of judgement, though, considering that is has had an overwhelmingly negative effect on his form and looks more than anything to be like an albatross around his neck, weighing him down. Replacing Robin van Persie was always going to be a difficult task, simply because symbolically, he was the team’s go-to leader to make things happen when everything wasn’t going according to plan, and they’ve not only missed his goals, but the comfort his presence provided the rest of the side with.
Similarly to the William Gallas appointment, Vermaelen could well be stripped of the honour at the end of the campaign, with Wilshere the obvious favourite for the role, because it’s got to the stage where only the captaincy is keeping his place in the side as opposed to his performances meriting continued selection.
Blame for the team’s lack of spirit and belief in their goals ultimately rests on the manager, though, and once against Wenger is culpable for assembling such a weak-willed squad. His usual rhetoric based around the team’s mental strength is little more than hot air and a concerted PR effort to try and change minds despite the overwhelming evidence pointing to the contrary.
His refusal to adjust his methods and the team’s style of play, no matter what the opposition or context and importance of the fixture, is tantamount to gross negligence. Every manager has to adjust their side for certain fixtures, with only really Barcelona capable of impressing their style quite so forcefully; Sir Alex Ferguson at Manchester United and Jose Mourinho at Real Madrid are far more pragmatic and therefore successful. They will compromise their principles if it means winning, whereas Wenger will not.
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It’s not only that the side clearly doesn’t have belief in themselves or one another at the moment, but they have walked that well-worn path in big games far too often; dominate possession, fail to create or finish off clear-cut chances and then let a defensive error go punished at their end resulting in a sloppy goal. You can almost see their heads drop when they go behind now, with the knowledge that past scars have seen them incapable of turning round such a deficit. That points to a lack of belief in Wenger’s methods.
Arsenal’s performances this past month or so, which have seen them crash out of the FA Cup and all but certain to be dumped out of Europe, have been hailed as a ‘crisis’ the sort of which Wenger has never known at the club. Nevertheless, with a favourable run-in, they are still capable of pinching top four football, but the underlying issues within the squad go far deeper than just a poor run of form and they look ingrained in the squad’s psyche. Changing attitudes and the culture of the entire club is not small feat and it could take a slice of cut-throat and extensive surgery to turn their fortunes around in the long-term.
Premier League big boys Manchester United and Arsenal appear to have missed their chance to sign highly rated Torino defender Angelo Ogbonna, according to talkSPORT.
The 24-year-old is an Italian international and has been tipped to become one of the best centre half’s Europe has to offer.
Torino’s league and City rivals Juventus announced their interest in the defender earlier this season and it now appears that the two clubs have held talks over a big money summer move.
Sir Alex Ferguson has sent scouts to Turin on more than one occasion over the past few years to check up on the progress of Ogbonna but it seems United have missed their chance.
The fitness of Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic have proved to be a real worry for the Premier League leaders this season and reinforcements may be acquired in the summer.
Arsenal are also on the lookout for at least one central defender after another poor season at the back.
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Not landing West Brom striker Peter Odemwingie during January is QPR boss Harry Redknapp’s big regret of the season.
A home defeat to Stoke means the R’s are just one game away from being relegated back to the Championship and Redknapp has more or less conceded defeat in his battle to beat the drop.
Despite the inevitable drop to the second tier of English football, Redknapp claims there is not a lot he would have changed over the course of his reign, except to make a bigger effort to land Odemwingie, who saw a January move to Loftus Road collapse after his bizarre deadline day actions.
“I would not have changed an awful lot, really,” Redknapp said. “I’d have probably tried harder to get the boy from West Brom, Odemwingie.
“He might have really given us something up there, with Bobby Zamora not being 100 per cent fit. He might have scored four or five goals that make the difference.
“He did no different to what about 50 other footballers did on the same day. He made one big mistake. He was too honest, he turned up at the football club, he was silly.”
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When I was a young boy, and indeed, even into my mid-teens, I often found comical enjoyment out of Tottenham’s roster. The Lilywhites have always had a knack of supplementing a strong starting XI with a wide berth of substandard players from seemingly every corner of the globe, from the likes of Steven Carr and Jose Dominguez in the late 1990s to the Martin Jol era, in which the current Fulham boss had the inane ability to sign players whose name alone suggested incompetence, such as Hossam Ghaly and Grzegorz Rasiak to name a few that are just the tip of the ice berg.
The club’s ability to attract humorously poor Premier League treasures, such as Mido, Erik Edman and Michael Brown appeared to die out during Harry Redknapp’s tenure, in no small part due to the fact he purchased a strong contingent of White Hart Lane rejects whilst Portsmouth manager, in a bid to steer them clear of relegation. But whilst at the helm in North London, the cockney wheeler-dealer managed to shift much of the deadwood out of the club, and during his final year as Spurs gaffer, possessed a side that not only had a consistent first team but also a squad of considerable depth.
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Upon the signings of Hugo Lloris, Moussa Dembele, Clint Dempsey, Jan Vertonghen and Gylfi Sigurdsson in the summer, the club were further praised for having one of the best rosters throughout the Premier League in terms of widespread quality. But the true test does not come in the first few months of a new season, it comes during the business end of the campaign – where results are crucial and the injury crises have truly set in – and overall, Tottenham have not passed with flying colours as many expected.
It seems the Spurs roster is more reminiscent of a house of cards, with a few key individuals being sidelined, mainly Aaron Lennon, Jermain Defoe and Gareth Bale, disrupting Andre Villas-Boas’ simple game plan of speed and width at its foundations, and the backup players failing to do the business for the Lilywhites in the Europa League.
Could it be that Tottenham have once again fallen into their age-old trap of quantity over quality, and is the deadwood piling up at White Hart Lane? Does it stand in the way of the club’s ambitions to skyrocket up the Premier League table, and will it limit their actions in the summer?
The first port of call will surely to be get rid of the epitome of the word ‘deadwood’ in Emmanuel Adebayor. Daniel Levy should have predicted that signing the Togo international on a permanent contract would only lead to a complete u-turn in form from the 17 goals and 11 assists he recorded last season, but nevertheless, the former City forward was brought in on an excessive contract, going on to prove that he in no way has the right attitude to be a professional footballer.
However, having recorded just three goals in twenty Premier League appearances, and more often than not being completely non-existent during matches, will Spurs actually be able to find a potential buyer for their lacklustre forward? He’s certainly scuppered his chances of playing at another elite European club, having failed to make the best out of his opportunities at Manchester City, Arsenal and Real Madrid, rubbing his managers, team-mates and fans up the wrong way in the process.
There have been murmurings of a return to former club AS Monaco, it seems little more than paper-talk considering Adebayor currently sits on a healthy wage package of 100k per week, which does not expire until 2015. With Spurs also light of personnel in the striker department, the 29 year old could easily slip into the background as unwanted but necessary cover, becoming White Hart Lane’s answer to Sebastian Squillaci.
Similarly, the transfers of Gylfi Sigurdsson and Clint Dempsey have been lukewarm at best. Although both have found decent form in patches after unceremonious starts, both have failed in the ultimate test of providing cover for Lennon and Bale, neither being a like-for-like replacement, or donning the pace currently required of a Spurs winger. Similarly, neither of the two are yet to make the position as a supporting striker their own, despite possessing reliable goal records at their previous clubs. Their future at White Hart Lane, in terms of where they slot in position-wise, remains uncertain, and has been further complicated by the acquisition of Lewis Holtby – another new recruit yet to fully shine.
The English-blooded German international could be utilised further back in the Tottenham midfield, however the middle of the park is also an area where lower quality personnel are building up in the Spurs squad. Scott Parker’s tenure in North London appears to be coming to an end, having reached the age of 32, yet you would not be comfortable offering Tom Huddlestone or Jake Livermore a slot in the starting XI, or having them remain in the vision of the club’s near future, with both coming of age but still short in terms of ability of what many expected of them as youngsters.
At the back, there is also potential for a player pile-up. William Gallas is set to depart under the bosman ruling, having played a bit-part role this year and firmly amid his twilight years, but with Younes Kaboul coming back from injury next year, there will be four centre-backs capable of first team football jostling over two positions. Steven Caulker may remain silent over being knocked down the pecking order, but it seems unfair that Michael Dawson will most likely share a similar fate despite playing out of his skin this year, and with the 2014 World Cup now in sight. At least one of their careers will have to be put on the back-burner next season should they all remain at White Hart Lane.
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Furthermore, there are grounds to move on both of the club’s current left-backs, with Benoit Assou-Ekotto reportedly already featuring on borrowed time, whilst Kyle Naughton has not cut the mustard having been given an opportunity to break into the first team at White Hart Lane this season. Meanwhile, Danny Rose, having been farmed out in the summer, has been exceptional for Sunderland on a season-long loan, adding further complications to the mix.
Perhaps not all of the above mentioned players can be categorised as ‘deadwood’, as although Tottenham are often thought of as one of the Premier League’s top clubs, they are yet to actually reach that level, despite the constant feeling of underachievement that appears to surround them. The likes of Tom Huddlestone and Kyle Naughton certainly have enough quality to be playing in the top half of the Premier League, and provide decent cover.
But it is still a lower level of talent in wide numbers throughout the squad that you would not find at the vast majority of Champions League teams, which is where Tottenham wish to be, and furthermore none of the players I’ve mentioned as candidates for the scrap heap have age on their side. Perhaps a summer clearout would be a step too far, and such inconsistency in the transfer market more often than not presents a risk that soon evolves into on-pitch catastrophe, but there is certainly an imbalance within the Tottenham roster which needs to be addressed.
My concern is that with wholesale changes in the summer restricted by available buyers, the business side of the game and essentially the vast amount of the Spurs squad who could be placed on the transfer list, when including those I’ve mentioned with Heurelho Gomez and David Bentley- as it would be near anarchic to move all of them on in the same transfer window – that it will not only limit inward transactions financially, but there will simply be little room for new recruits in Tottenham’s registered 25 man squad. Spurs need to be aggressive in the transfer market in the near future, in order to continue their rapid improvement and planned ascension into the top tier of European football, but the middle-of-the-road footballers, the superficial, overpaid, back up cast could soon stand in their way; just as it did during the days of mid-table mediocrity at White Hart Lane. The issue needs to be addressed quickly and competently, before the Lilywhites fall back into their old ways of quantity over quality, and we witness the second coming of Paul Stalteri.